Only Asleep

Sometimes just past dreaming,
I stumble on a place,
where I can sleep like I am dead and wish I’d never wake.

Everytime that something calls me,
while I’m in this place,
I must choose and must be sure before I can awake.

Someday, maybe soon, I won’t.
I’ll refuse to leave that place.
When that day comes, you can be sure, I finally have escaped.



Never released
except for under specific,  controllable, circumstances.

I feel like a bird,
trapped in a glass cage.

Will I ever be truly free?

Even when I’m grown,
will they control,
my every action, my every circumstance?

Will I ever fly?

Do not delay

Do not delay, Lord, do not delay,
May this despair be taken away.
Lord, you love, Lord you save,
Break the chains of the unknowing slave.

If I wilt and if I die,
If I fall and if there I lie,
Still save the slave who is still living,
Prove to him you are forgiving.

For he is dead and I’m alive,
With this thought I cannot survive.


I reach, farther than the sky permits,
And take hold of the stars.
Their glow tickles my palm and warms my fingers.

I reach, my hand brushing the atmosphere,
And claim the clouds.
Dew drips down my wrist.

I reach, dodging power lines and treetops,
And bask in open sunlight.
The wind dries my skin.

I reach, electricity filling my arm,
And take hold of your hand.
I am one with the stars.


I live to taste the air around my head,
When spring, the quiet child of March, begins.
I live to share a day like this with you,
A day so free of trouble and of sins.

Your eyes, intoxicating in a glance
Their sweetness greater than of any lamb
They bid me to not ever look away,
And I, weak one I am, I obey.


Clouds shadow the vain mountains,
Hiding their peaks from view.
Overcast, I sit and watch for hours,
With nothing but wonder to do.

The squeaky-clean sky waits far away,
Withholding the sun from me.
Flowers, though sparse, guide along our way,
There is nothing but beauty to see.


I don’t want to love you anymore.
I wish I never met you.
Because I love too much too quickly.
I’m a sad, desperate, lonely girl.
Beyond all belief.
Your kind words have hurt me, you’ve stabbed me.
Fade back into the faces of the daily grind.
As I am to you.

You are a nice one. Too nice.
Every person you meet benefits.
More than I have ever felt.
But what is important and big to me,
is insignificant and small to you, usual, ordinary.
I realize this too late.
You mean more to me than I mean to you.
Much more. I wish it wasn’t true.
So I have to stop loving you.

I have to.

You are

You are a sieve.
I pour everything I have into you
And you take it all,
But it goes right through.


Why do I survive
When the butterflies,
Each more beautiful and precious than me,
Live for only a year?

Is it because,
I can love?
But what has loving ever gotten me?
Disappointment and heartbreak.

I wish I was a butterfly,
To soar across my own small sky,
And die, after a year.
I wouldn’t have to love.
I wouldn’t have to cry.
Oh how I envy,
The butterfly.

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